Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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