Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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