I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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