What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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