i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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