how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
