one two three fourrrrnication!
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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