ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
wow bdsm is so cute
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
