Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
