So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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