Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
