Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You don't make any sense
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