similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
