Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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