NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
