I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
