Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
