I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
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It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
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We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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