I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
