i think i have herpe
just one?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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