I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I love you.
Bad choice
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