I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize