My room smells like vodka and shame
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize