and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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