Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
