I want to stick my p in your. b.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
