My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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