guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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