hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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