In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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