Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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