So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
