Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
