Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
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We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
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Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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