A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
