Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
