i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
