put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
As shirtless as possible
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
