$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
