I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
