I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
