I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
