i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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