Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize