we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
