I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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