They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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