so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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