If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
