I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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