She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize