They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize