You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize