he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
