I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I came so hard my ears popped.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
