the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
