I'm laying in your front yard are you home
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
