she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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