Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
