It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Randomize
