let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
